I have just read this on Dear Abby:
"Dear Abby: I have been a vegetarian for 12 years. My husband has been one on and off for five years. I thought our children, 7 and 3, had never had meat in their lives. I recently found out that my father-in-law has been feeding them chicken nuggets from fast food. I was, and still am, very upset about it. It has been six months, and I haven’t talked to him since and no longer let my kids go over there without my husband. He texted me an apology that seemed very sarcastic and made me even angrier. Everyone says I need to get over it, but no one has confronted him about it. This has put a strain on my relationship with my husband. Can you please advise me on what to do next?
Furious in the South
Dear Furious: Text messages are, by definition, terse. Accept the apology you were given and move forward. That said, however, continue to insist that your children be under their father’s supervision when they visit their grandfather because his judgment is questionable, and he has already shown that when they are with him, your wishes will not be enforced."
Humans have evolved to be omnivores. However, many individuals, families and whole cultures decide to reject human nature and be vegetarians or vegans. There are some legitimate health reasons, e.g. kidney problems. Also, some people just do not like meat. However, the overwhelming majority of vegetarians are such due to crazy religious taboos on animal food or even crazier concern with welfare of non-human animals at the expense of humans.
Of course, everyone can make his food choices. The problem is that vegetarians and other food-restricted and food-obsessed individuals typically are big-time bullies and force the entire family to follow their diet. Of course, the spouse is likely to have been a vegetarian from the beginning, because vegetarians tend to intermarry (other people consider them weird and prefer to keep a distance). But even if the partner has initially had normal food habits, as in this case, he will be forced to submit, as is the rule when a non-fanatic marries a fanatic. Then, the happy couple will make their children vegetarians from the day of their conception, though a developing fetus and child has much higher nutritional needs than an adult. A friend of mine knows a vegan child whose tooth eruption was delayed for many months. That boy's teeth grew only after the grandmothers conspired to give him cheese secretly. Some children have suffered much more. There are reports of babies brought to death or brain damage by their vegan parents.
The "Furious" mother from the above letter has been a vegetarian for 12 years. She has a 7-yr-old child, which means she is unlikely to be younger than 25. She has enjoyed growing on a normal diet containing animal food, but now it seems to her a good idea to raise her children on crappy food. Doesn't she see how disgusting it is to force on your children something that most people hate and that has not been forced on you when you were a child? No, she doesn't. She feeds her children as if they are cattle, and nobody can do anything about it. Her husband is a spineless creature. He doesn't have the will to leave her, doesn't have the will to resist her attempts to make him vegetarian, doesn't have the will even to keep the diet she is imposing on him (therefore he is "on and off"). Of course he doesn't have the will to fight for his children and guarantee their normal nutrition. The grandfather tried to do something, but was caught.
I am disappointed by Abby's reply, but some commenters had more to say:
"If you don't like what the kids eat on grandpa's watch, then stop using him as free childcare and hire a sitter who will do exactly as you instruct. You probably won't be happy even then because you sound like the sort of person who can't let anything go, who enjoys being livid over some first world problem, and who has a litany of woes that you love to go over with whomever will listen."
"Furious sounds like a control freak. An occasional McNugget isn't going to harm her children. It seems she found religion as an adult, and that's fine, but it takes a very carefully planned diet to raise a healthy child without meat. Maybe Granddad doesn't know how to do that. There is a reason we are omnivores."
"Maybe your kids want meat. Have you bothered to ask them?"
And a comment on the report about the damaged babies: "All you vegan adults, go for it. Everyone needs a religion/hobby. All you would-be vegan parents, consider that your strongly-held beliefs about meat should extend into strongly-held beliefs about not having children. A childless life actually fits very nicely into the stated vegan goal of a sustainable world where animals are completely free of human exploitation."
I just hope that Furious' children against all odds grow up normal.
"Dear Abby: I have been a vegetarian for 12 years. My husband has been one on and off for five years. I thought our children, 7 and 3, had never had meat in their lives. I recently found out that my father-in-law has been feeding them chicken nuggets from fast food. I was, and still am, very upset about it. It has been six months, and I haven’t talked to him since and no longer let my kids go over there without my husband. He texted me an apology that seemed very sarcastic and made me even angrier. Everyone says I need to get over it, but no one has confronted him about it. This has put a strain on my relationship with my husband. Can you please advise me on what to do next?
Furious in the South
Dear Furious: Text messages are, by definition, terse. Accept the apology you were given and move forward. That said, however, continue to insist that your children be under their father’s supervision when they visit their grandfather because his judgment is questionable, and he has already shown that when they are with him, your wishes will not be enforced."
Humans have evolved to be omnivores. However, many individuals, families and whole cultures decide to reject human nature and be vegetarians or vegans. There are some legitimate health reasons, e.g. kidney problems. Also, some people just do not like meat. However, the overwhelming majority of vegetarians are such due to crazy religious taboos on animal food or even crazier concern with welfare of non-human animals at the expense of humans.
Of course, everyone can make his food choices. The problem is that vegetarians and other food-restricted and food-obsessed individuals typically are big-time bullies and force the entire family to follow their diet. Of course, the spouse is likely to have been a vegetarian from the beginning, because vegetarians tend to intermarry (other people consider them weird and prefer to keep a distance). But even if the partner has initially had normal food habits, as in this case, he will be forced to submit, as is the rule when a non-fanatic marries a fanatic. Then, the happy couple will make their children vegetarians from the day of their conception, though a developing fetus and child has much higher nutritional needs than an adult. A friend of mine knows a vegan child whose tooth eruption was delayed for many months. That boy's teeth grew only after the grandmothers conspired to give him cheese secretly. Some children have suffered much more. There are reports of babies brought to death or brain damage by their vegan parents.
The "Furious" mother from the above letter has been a vegetarian for 12 years. She has a 7-yr-old child, which means she is unlikely to be younger than 25. She has enjoyed growing on a normal diet containing animal food, but now it seems to her a good idea to raise her children on crappy food. Doesn't she see how disgusting it is to force on your children something that most people hate and that has not been forced on you when you were a child? No, she doesn't. She feeds her children as if they are cattle, and nobody can do anything about it. Her husband is a spineless creature. He doesn't have the will to leave her, doesn't have the will to resist her attempts to make him vegetarian, doesn't have the will even to keep the diet she is imposing on him (therefore he is "on and off"). Of course he doesn't have the will to fight for his children and guarantee their normal nutrition. The grandfather tried to do something, but was caught.
I am disappointed by Abby's reply, but some commenters had more to say:
"If you don't like what the kids eat on grandpa's watch, then stop using him as free childcare and hire a sitter who will do exactly as you instruct. You probably won't be happy even then because you sound like the sort of person who can't let anything go, who enjoys being livid over some first world problem, and who has a litany of woes that you love to go over with whomever will listen."
"Furious sounds like a control freak. An occasional McNugget isn't going to harm her children. It seems she found religion as an adult, and that's fine, but it takes a very carefully planned diet to raise a healthy child without meat. Maybe Granddad doesn't know how to do that. There is a reason we are omnivores."
"Maybe your kids want meat. Have you bothered to ask them?"
And a comment on the report about the damaged babies: "All you vegan adults, go for it. Everyone needs a religion/hobby. All you would-be vegan parents, consider that your strongly-held beliefs about meat should extend into strongly-held beliefs about not having children. A childless life actually fits very nicely into the stated vegan goal of a sustainable world where animals are completely free of human exploitation."
I just hope that Furious' children against all odds grow up normal.
2 comments:
I have nothing to say, other than that I agree with you and that this is my favorite of any post of yours I've read.
Thank you!
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