Monday, February 18, 2008

Nirvana

When I was younger and my body was working better (and also my mind, but this is another matter), I always felt awfully after skipping a meal. With hours passing, I felt more and more scraping inside my stomach and began to cast carnivorous looks at other people. Soon I would become unable to think or do anything else, so I had to find some food immediately.
I no longer have this perfect metabolic feedback. Often, when I miss a meal, I feel fatique and dizziness instead of sharpening hunger. I have to remind myself to eat and make an effort.
It is especially bad at nights. My baby, like any mammal of his age, wants to sleep side by side with Mom. So I have to lie next to him until he is asleep. He often becomes tired and wants to sleep before I have had my supper. So I put him to bed and lie next to him, intending to get up again after he is asleep.
It is not unusual for me to fall asleep before the baby. But even if I am technically awake, by this time I don't want to get up. I feel no hunger. Sometimes I feel cold, but a woolen blanket helps. So I lie in bed and hear my better self telling me to stand up, have a supper, wash the dishes or at least brush my teeth. Sometimes I listen to my better self, sometimes not.
If I don't get up, the longer I remain lying, the less I want to do anything. The undernourished brain feels some daze making all problems seem far away and long ago. All wishes subside, except the wish for this nirvana to continue, and I am unhappy when somebody or something forcibly brings me back to reality.

4 comments:

Casdok said...

How blissful to lay next to your child and watch them go to sleep.
The dishes can indeed wait.

Maya M said...

Yes, they do! Thank you.

MusicLover said...

Mascagni _ Intermezzo From _Cavalleria Rusticana

youtube.com/watch?v=jDVFaheqQAg

"It is not unusual for me to fall asleep before the baby."

Never fails :-)

"My baby, like any mammal of his age, wants to sleep side by side with Mom."

Better than empty bed and kids grow like weeds. Enjoy the moment, you do not want to be in Empty Nest Syndrome either.

"I am unhappy when somebody or something forcibly brings me back to reality."

We can not escape reality but always look at the bright side.

Maya M said...

Thank you and welcome to my blog!